Holy shit. Like that’s fucking wild. Who the hell says that? How do you think that conversation played out with his staff before the debate? I think it went almost exactly like this:
CHIEF OF STAFF: “Senator Webb, I’d advise you to avoid telling the Vietnam anecdote, it is rather… uh bleak.”
JIM “FUCKING” WEBB [looking his chief of staff straight in the eye]: “No, I am certainly definitely going to talk about Killing A Guy during a presidential debate.”
“This is something that is going to happen and you need to accept it.”
CHIEF OF STAFF: “Well, maybe you could change part of the story. Like the part where you end a life.”
JIM “PAIN” WEBB: “No can do. Dave, I’m a straightshooter, which means I shoot straight at people until they are dead.”
CHIEF OF STAFF [worriedly]: “Jim please, I don’t think that will resonate well with the voters who dislike stuff such as intimate descriptions of violence from a presidential candidate.”
JIM “MURDERCAT” WEBB: “I think those voters will come around to my way of thinking after they hear me speak. Now, let’s work on my closing line.”
“Why should I be president? Well, I’ve done the most one-on-one murder of anyone here, no doubt.”
CHIEF OF STAFF: “Senator, I’m not sure that’s how we want to end the debate, also are you going to smile exactly like that as you tell the story? It’s somewhat… off-putting.”
JIM “THE REAPER” WEBB [smiling]: No.
Written by Michael Loukeris
– THE CLOVE –
The Clove 