Amazing! – We Asked 8 Alumni About Their Favorite Memories of Cappy

POUGHKEEPSIE – In the light of the recent announcement of the departure of Vassar College’s tenth President, Catharine Bond Hill or ‘Cappy’,  The Clove took it upon itself to interview past alum about the current president’s legacy and her lasting impact.

“Who is Cappy?”

Alice Hanson, Class of ‘88

“How did you get this number?”

Kate Balin, Class of ‘74

 

“Lo siento, señor, pero no hablo inglés. Sin embargo, he oído un poco sobre esta “Cappy” de la que usted habla. He oído que ella ha hecho mucho para apoyar la “necesidad ciego” ayuda financiera, pero no mucho más. Ahora déjame en paz .”

Lane Sherwood, Class of ‘86

 

“(wordless static)”

David Geroni, Class of ‘90

 

“She was just the best! Everything you could want in a college president. Oh wait, Cappy? No, sorry I was thinking of myself”

Frances Daly Fergusson, Class of ‘79

 

“Please stop calling me”

Pamela Singh, Class of ‘07

 

“Press 1 for Operations Management, Press 2 for Accounts Billable, Press 3 for more options”

Nathan Vilaró, Class of ‘84

 

“I went to Dartmouth”
Angie Williams Class of ‘59

Written by Michael Loukeris

                                                                               – THE CLOVE – 

We Dressed Ten Dogs in Bonnets and You Won’t BELIEVE How Cute It Is.

Michael Hardt and Antonio Negri’s excerpted work in Lemert’s Social Theory, The Multitude Against the Empire, attempts to introduce a new locution into the canon of post-Marxist terminology.  The concept, termed Empire, along with the eponymous book written by the authors has been seen by some critics as their effort to create a modern-day Communist Manifesto and the work suffers as a result.  However, the idea of Empire and the ability of capitalism to cross borders with impunity are both interesting and valid in how they relate to looking at globalization and transnational capitalist entities. Empire as defined by Hardt and Negri is a consequence of how globalization has weakened and reduced nation-states.  The sovereign power of individual nation-states is lessened by the fluidity of the modern means of production and profit—capital, workers, technology, and goods.  The porousness of national boundaries has weakened the specific sovereignty of nation-states, but it has not weakened the idea of sovereignty as a whole.  Instead the crux of sovereignty has shifted to a ‘series of national and supranational organisms united under a single logic of rule.’  Global sovereignty is the result of the slow removal of any geographic or topographic barriers to profit and production.  The authors note that Empire is not imperialism because imperialism requires boundaries and expansion of those boundaries, along with rule stretching from a center of power.  Empire differs from colonialism and imperialism because it is both ‘decentered’ and ‘deterritorializing.’  Hardt and Negri employ a metaphor wherein the map of imperialism is a checkerboard of European flag colors with land parceled out to specific colonial powers.  Meanwhile the map of Empire is a muddled blend of all the imperial colors.  In addition to being divorced from spatiotemporal restrictions, Empire is also ahistorical.  Empire does not present itself as a transitionary phase between late capitalism and some other future economic system.  Empire conveys itself not an imperial power born from conquest but as a concept that occupies history.  Empire is ever-present and everlasting and seeks to position itself such that a Marxian revolution in a single nation-state would not be able to disrupt its global reach.

April Fools

Long Live the Proletariat

Written by Michael Loukeris

                                                                           – THE CLOVE –

Blog: Hey It’s Me, The Only Other Person On Yik-Yak

VASSAR COLLEGE – Hey, what’s up. You probably think you don’t know me, but actually we chat all the time. How? Because I’m the only other person on Yik-Yak. It’s just you and me buddy.  You may think that the comments on the Yik-Yak are other students and that the dialogue between them helps make up the collective consciousness of the Vassar community as a whole. Nope, it’s just me. Well, and you also. Speaking of, remember that epic debate you had on Yik-Yak about animal rights with those pro-Seaworld commenters? All me baby! I don’t even care about whales! Hell, I can’t even swim.

How do I do it? Easy, I have 56 iPhones and 2 Blackberries. I use the iPhones to comment on Yik-Yak and the Blackberries in case my chair gets wobbly. I also… Wait, sorry I just got a notification… Gotta respond to this comment real quick… Oh wait, another notification!  It’s from the comment I just posted, lemme just type out a response real quick… Whoops, just got another notification, hold on I’ll get back to you in a second…

P.S. Kik?

Michael Loukeris

– THE CLOVE – 

Here’s A Picture of My Dog

Vassar College –

By Michael Loukeris

-THE CLOVE-

Unimpressed Man Watches Scary Movie

POUGHKEEPSIE, NY – Screams of fright and peals of laughter echoed around the walls of the local theater, as moviegoers viewed the premiere of NITEFEAR 2: The Reckoning. The film was enjoyed by all—except one. Greg Banks, a self-described horror movie aficionado, was less than convinced.

“It just wasn’t that scary,” said Banks, “I don’t know how you could ever be scared by this.” With crossed arms and a stern frown, Banks went on. “Just look at this scene,” he gestured toward the screen where a terrified man and woman were fleeing from a horde of eyeless ghouls, “the trees look fake as shit.”

While Banks continued to berate his fellow moviegoers for wasting their money on NITEFEAR 2: The Reckoning and boasting that “Actually it was almost funny to me.”

The Clove spoke with a concession worker under condition of anonymity for “fear that Greg will bug me about this”.  

“Yeah, Greg does this like once a week. He comes into the movie and complains that it’s not scary enough. Sometimes he doesn’t even watch the movie.”

Well after the movie ended, Banks remained in the theater lobby attempting to dissuade a number of confused passersby from attending NITEFEAR 2. As the theater closed, Banks walked out to his car while repeatedly muttering “Just not that scary” under his breath. He drove home slowly, stopping at several fast food drive-thrus to inform the tired workers about the non-scariness of the movie as well as to order several large diet Cokes. As Banks unlocked his door his long-suffering pet dog, Freddy, looked up and turned his head. “Sorry buddy, but it just wasn’t that scary,” Banks explained rather pointedly to the animal.  Freddy laid his head back down.

Later, while brushing his teeth, Banks stopped and looked in the mirror.  “Honestly, I just wasn’t that scared,” he said, nodding at his own reflection.  “Like, I’ve seen a bunch of way scarier movies.”  Alone in his bed, Banks looked up at dark ceiling and the languid drift of the fan.  “Really, I was just not scared at all.” The fan continued to slowly turn.

Written by Michael Loukeris

– THE CLOVE –